Project Wonder - Day 61 - Dissonance

"Is it always to be a winners-losers world, or can we keep everyone in the game? Do we still have what it takes to find a better way?" - Robert Fulghum

In our psychology class we often refer to the idea of cognitive dissonance. When we hold two beliefs or thoughts in our mind that disagree with each other we experience a sort of tension or discomfort, and our minds take measures to settle this discrepancy. For example, I often feel guilty when I throw away uneaten food, knowing that my waste would feed a hungry mouth. Or when I believe that making healthier choices will benefit me immeasurably and catch myself scarfing down a bag of potato chips.

Our minds are meant to make sense of the world, and when things are in disagreement it means we haven't quite figured everything out. It's really quite unsettling, and is dealt with quickly by dismissing one of the thoughts/feelings/actions in disagreement and subsequently rationalizing our answers ("I know that eating junk food is in disagreement with my desire to live better, but I've worked so hard this week. I deserve this salty snack. Besides, it's just this once.")

The original proponent of Cognitive Dissonance Theory was Leon Festinger. He suggested that our minds are motivated toward a harmony of ideas and beliefs, or at least away from disharmony. Peace of mind.

Not only do we attempt to harmonize internally, but socially as well. We strive to fit in, to be part of a group and share perspectives. We enjoy being around those similar to ourselves. But perhaps we get a little too used to an inherited worldview, reinforced by surrounding ourselves in a community of those who share it. So much so, that we have a hard time seeing things any other way. We may internalize the assumption that there is only ONE RIGHT WAY to see the world, and begin to view differences as a threats.

This would be okay if it ended here.

Unfortunately the way we often deal with threats is by squashing them, instead of examining our own fears. We rationalize so much of opponent-squashing behaviour in the name of a right cause. It doesn't occur to us that we might be wrong, because our ways have always worked for us. Whoever Us is.  Under this view differing opinions and their owners are obstacles to our interpretation of the greater good, and somehow we are more comfortable justifying wars and violence than we are of admitting to our own human fallibility.

Our culture of violence is growing steadily as we gain more and more capacity to connect with multitudes around the world, rapidly increasing our exposure to different, and possibly disagreeing, attitudes and beliefs.  Arguably, the pace of this exposure is unprecedented, and somewhat ironically we must learn to grow accustomed to change.

Disagreement itself is inevitable, given the vast and unimaginable scope of human experiences. We can learn to accept this, but when our communities of self-fulfilling prophecies lead us to believe that others are wrong, we become defensive, self-interested, clutching our righteous inherited worldviews. And it's very dangerous when people begin to tell you "you're wrong because you're different."

Some people may have seen this video already. It is disturbing, and of course fascinating. And perhaps most important of all, it is telling of our increasingly violent behaviour on the basis of selfishness and entitlement. Perhaps we have grown too used to valuing our own interests, and devaluing others'.



Social harmony does not mean total agreement of beliefs. Indeed, that would be impossible. It does, however, mean not squashing others. Harmony is about co-existence, and getting used to the idea that we haven't got all the answers, if any of the answers, and that everyone's answer is worth listening to, for it might contain something we'd not considered before.

As my Mom said once to my siblings and I on our way to a visit with people we weren't particularly fond of as youth: "You don't have to like each other, you just have to get along."

Thank you for reading.

Yours in peace,

Brandon

P.S. When I watched the video above, I had to catch myself making character judgments of the store patrons. After all, in a similar situation I might behave just the same. Our problems are systematic, and somehow we're all a part of the same team.

Project Wonder - Day 60 - Big Buts

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." - Calvin Coolidge

Today's theme is big buts. I cannot lie.

Before touching on that, I should perhaps offer a justification for my absence. Ok, so perhaps calling today's PW "Day 60" is a bit misleading. I had planned to take a day or two's break from writing to  prepare for the school's annual board inspection. And here I am eight days later having survived a hurricane of paperwork. I'm still feeling fairly one-dimensional, but the inspectors left with smiles on their faces.

It was an exhausting week of monotonous tasks. Getting lessons and records and schedules in order. This self-organization thing is tough. It's very hard to stay ahead of anything, and it will be wonderful to have the chance to be proactive again once this semester ends.

The rate that things are going I'm a little afraid to blink. Final exams finish on the 14th, and semester two begins on the 4th. I don't know what I'll be teaching yet, and I can't wait to find out. I have learned so much, these three months, about myself as a teacher, and about the minds of learners. Most of the learning about my teaching practice concerns what not to do. For example, I will never schedule five classes worth of 1500-word culminating projects for the same due date again. Never ever. 

I also feel like much of my time here has been about learning to work. And learning to continue to work, beyond excuses and other self-imposed barriers. Through observing students' alibi-generating abilities I am becoming more aware of some of my own guilt-ridden excuses, and the readiness with which my mind creates them.

The mind is very good at filling the space created in the wake of goals with "but"s: "I wanted to be a magician BUT I don't have fast enough hands"; "I tried to do the reading BUT I couldn't see because the power was out."

There are buts everywhere, and more and more it seems to me that the buts in our lives are the sources of all problems. We are really good at finding excuses in everything. Today I was speaking with a student about this very thing. 

There's a student who comes to class late every day, with a different excuse. He sits at his desk sans notebook, and when I ask him why he's unprepared he very easily casts responsibility onto others, whether his mother, the taxi driver, or even his little sister. It truly is fascinating. 

Today I became intolerant of his justifications for laziness, and asked him to leave the class. I gave him the assignment of sitting at the office and writing out every single excuse that he can think of to justify not being able to do/accomplish things. I told him to make sure he fills the page.

"But I can't write that long my hand cramps easily." 

"Well, pause when it cramps, and shake it out. Then continue."

"But the generator is too noisy I can't concentrate." 

"I think you'll find this task easy to complete" I sighed knowing the irony might be lost, and I left him. 

--

When I came back at the end of the period, he had indeed filled the page with excuses. It is honestly the first task I have ever seen him complete. He also seemed proud of himself, so we sat down to debrief.

We examined the list, and he admitted that he felt a bit ridiculous reading them all in a row. I admitted that I have a list of excuses too, that's a lot longer than the one he produced. I suggested that perhaps the difference between being successful and not has to do with how impossible these list of excuses are to circumvent. In other words, how big are the buts?

I can only hope to see this student growing in awareness of the buts that he uses to hide from effort. If he believes that the excuses are trivial, then he should have no problem. Little buts. If the excuses seem difficult or impossible to get around, one might refer to them as big buts. 

Today I'm aiming to always be cognizant of my buts, and to question just how big or little they really are. I hope to own my excuses, take responsibility for the ways I choose to view the world and subsequently the limits I choose to set.

Thank you for reading. 

Yours in but reduction,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 52 - Egos

"Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

There's a poster in the library at school that reminds me on a regular basis that "listen and silent are spelled with the same letters." It's cute, definitely poster material.

But I wonder about the poster's intended message. Surely it doesn't purport some synonymity between silence and listening. On a daily basis I work students who I'd swear were practicing ninjas given their dedication to voicelessness. And yet I struggle to find any evidence that these silent warriors listen with any degree of intention.

Perhaps the poster means to suggest that silence is a requirement before listening can take place. That is, silence is a necessary condition, but it is not sufficient. This, I'll allow.

But I've since been wondering what it means to listen. To really listen. Sometimes I find myself pretending to listen by nodding silently to someone as they mouth words in my direction, meanwhile the voice inside my head is playing double-dutch around the strands of others' sentences, looking for a way to get some words in myself.

Today I tried to notice just how much my ego prevents me from truly listening to others. Do I really listen? Or am I just waiting for my turn to speak?

For many reasons, an ego is a useful thing to have. It tends to make sure that I get what I need, and often it goes after what I want. It celebrates my triumphs, and leads me away from fears and dangers. For the most part, it works for me.

But while my ego is a grounding solace in a sea of uncertainty, it must also be recognized as an isolating island on which I am somehow stranded. If someone gets too close my ego believes defences are merited. If new ideas or perspectives are presented the ego searches for their value to self, and readily dismisses them otherwise.

The real challenge set in when my ego began to notice other islands, perceiving other selves as threatening competitors in a game of survival. I wrote a bit about this game yesterday, suggesting that the conditions of survival are much different than what they were even one hundred years ago. At least, that they could be.

Today in biology groups of students found themselves in disagreement over some data point. Individual students calculated and re-calculated, until eventually we addressed the problem together as a class to discover the correct answer. When the answer was announced war cries of "in your face" and "take that" and cheers of celebration were thrown through the air. Other students got defensive and begged for a recalculation, clearly ashamed for having gotten the answer incorrect in their own process. Inherently the class assumed that we were against each other, that we were part of a zero-sum social game where there were winners and losers.

The egos got caught up in projecting and defending their rightfulness, all the while we completely forgot about our shared pursuit of solving the problem. I wish I could say this sort of thing stopped happening beyond the high school classroom.

But then again, those are MY wishes. Self-motivated, ego-driven.

Is it possible to dissolve the ego in the collective? Or to find the collective intertwined with the chase of the ego?

After school a student shared a few personal concerns with me. I genuinely sought to listen, and understand her situation, perspective, and desires. I did what I believe to be the best way to listen, and I asked questions  to bring my ego closer to her world.

Perhaps two egos will never share the exact same perspective. But if we look far enough into the distance, our different perspectives become less and less significant, our gazes only crossing at the horizon. Here's hoping we'll all get close enough to be willing to look in the same directions.

Thank you for considering,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 51 - Infant Morals

We create a lot of boundaries. I've already written about our ever-negotiating borders, but today I came across this video that offers a few ideas about just how quickly we value self-similarity.






Tell me that your mind isn't racing. Go on. What would Rousseau say?

The results of these studies point to an instinctual preference for those who share our preferences. And perhaps even more shockingly, an inborn tendency to will punishment on moral transgressors. Have you ever thought of a baby as an ill-wisher?!

I suppose I have always thought of babies as all-forgiving. In my head they are pure, objects of nothing but love and light. Maybe that's my complete inexperience with babies writing.

Either way, I never imagined infants to be vengeful. Fighting fire with fire. Mean rabbits don't deserve rewards.

I wonder how the babies would respond if the "mean puppets" were punished more severely. Such an elegant experiment, no? Characterizing puppets and inferring babies trait preferences from the characters they favour.

Why do we prefer those similar to ourselves over those who seem different? From an evolutionary perspective recognizing and siding with self-similar beings is obviously valuable in an environment where anything different could safely fit the assumption of hungry and dangerous. Of course I'm talking ancient human history, when resources were scarce and threats were abundant.

It's possible to trace the inheritance of this behaviour and pattern of thinking, through generations leading to the present. We are a world of each others' Others, and we almost always associate the Other with danger. At least, I do.

But the global social environment of the present is unimaginably different from our ancestors' communities. We have the capacity to connect with almost anyone in the world, from almost anywhere in the world. And we have resources to share! More and more of the Other are losing their otherness, as we recognize just how much we're all related. Studies in genetics, sociology, psychology, anthropology tell us that we're all of the same kind.

Yet we remain divided by national, cultural, and ideological barriers. Divided and willing to harm those who we believe have done us wrong, always fighting fire with fire, over borders we've inherited.

I wonder if we may collectively, consciously, decide to evolve. Become aware of the differences we see, the cliques we create, the puppets we favour and choose to recognize the similarities we all share. To see our Selves in the Others. Isn't the pursuit of empathy better for our survival? It has to be better than killing ourselves.

Thank you for considering,

Brandon

P.S. I don't have a membership, but here's a link to the nature article referenced in the clip:

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v450/n7169/full/nature06288.html

Project Wonder - Day 50 - Writing

Today marks the fiftieth day of my commitment to daily writing. Though it has been difficult at times, and certainly not uninterrupted, the choice to write has been one of my better decisions.

I have wanted to write for a long time. I'm enamored by the notion that, more than the spoken word, the prose or poetry of an author may never stop carrying meaning. The written word has a certain permanence, a lasting power that enables it to connect with unknown audiences beyond the small fraction of space-time with which I'm personally familiar. Writing grants ideas a degree of autonomy, setting them free to interact and influence other memes. Whether my ideas have any usefulness is not up to me to decide. But I recognized that if I don't take the time to etch them into the external world somehow, they may never be more than my own means to entertainment.

For several years now I have kept a journal of sorts, attempting to capture ideas and insights as I experience them. I have hundreds of pages of disconnected "snapshot" ideas floating around on my hard drive. It's possible that someone might be able to decipher my cryptic semantics and begin to make sense out of the disjointed euphemisms. Possible, but not necessarily likely. It is here where the true task of writing lies.

It's one thing to have an idea that makes sense to me. Inside my mind I rarely need to explain my own ideas, and the assumptions on which they're founded. After all, it's MY mind.

The task of writing, as a friend of mine shared some years ago, is to become clearer on the logic and rationale contained in my ideas. To better understand the origins and possible consequences of an idea and to discover the language required to communicate my intended meaning in these ideas to others.

And so this daily practice has done wonders for my own sense of cognitive clarity. I am able to make greater sense of my inner monologue (sometimes dialogue) and I think I'm getting better at the craft of choosing words. Plus, as the habit of daily writing continues to solidify itself in my waking existence I intend to pursue more challenging writing goals, the details of which I won't reveal here.

Offering ideas to the universe not only allows others to enjoy or play with them, but it also clears my mental palette in a sense, allowing me to dive further into my experience, knowing that I've mapped the territory, albeit imperfectly.

So thank you for reading, and sharing in my scribbles. Here's to another fifty days!

Yours compositionally,

Brandon

P.S. Check out this writing advice from one of my favourites, courtesy of Brain Pickings.

Project Wonder - Day 49 - Excuses

One of the things I'm really enjoying about teaching so far, is the degree of creativity hidden inside student excuses. It truly is amazing how much effort goes into making up reasons for NOT doing a task. I often encourage students to redirect their efforts into performing the tasks themselves, which often catalyzes yet another set of excuses from the students.

For example, report cards went home a couple weeks ago. One of the students came to me with a distressed expression.

"Sir, I don't like the comments you put on my report card."

"I'm sorry to hear that George, do you mean to say that you don't agree with them?"

"No, I guess they are right. But my parents won't be happy."

"Well George, remember that these comments are feedback for you. You know where you are, and where you want to be, so now your task is planning and working to reach your destination. We can improve your results for the final evaluation in the course"

George seemed to like the idea of working with me on a daily basis, to help him organize his priorities and plan to reach his academic goals. And yet day after day, it is I who remind him to come see me, to bring his agenda with him to class, to change his behaviour. And every time I remind him, he presents me with another excuse. He is a victim of circumstance, almost always.

And of course he's not alone. It's a common mentality not only in classrooms, but in circles of adults too. I'm sometimes amazed by the excuses some people tell themselves for not achieving their goals, or following through on what they set out to do. Why do some people create so many excuses? I suppose playing victim is an easy way to justify turning away from the work.

"I'm not strong enough to get over this hurdle."

Rather than trying and failing, it seems better not to try, and convince oneself that success isn't even possible. I think this is the mentality that many victims entertain. All too often we forget how much our mentality actually shapes our reality. If you learn to believe that you're destined to fail, well, then you're actual chances of success will be less. Like in this little classroom experiment to demonstrate the phenomenon known as "learned helplessness".



Sometimes we don't recognize the limits we create for ourselves. The students who performed poorer on the third word didn't realize that the limits of their performance were created by their own negative emotions.

While we may never realize all of the limits we impose on ourselves, all of the ways in which we victimize ourselves, we should remember that they are in fact there, and that our mindset makes a difference.

It's as a friend of mine said, "If you believe something to be real, it has real consequences."

Today I'm wondering about my own invented limits. What beliefs are holding you back?

Yours subjectively,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Days 47-48 - Can You Imagine?

My connection to the Internet was faulty yesterday. Which, I won't lie, was kinda nice in a way. It forced me to take another rest for a bit.

With our modems out of order, my housemates and I decided to go for a beverage at "Bouncy's Grill Foods", a small outdoor restaurant about five walking minutes away. We are getting incredibly busier and busier making preparations for our annual school inspection which is set to happen a week from Monday. But as Philip said so eloquently, "Even those who weep must pause to blow their noses." No matter how busy I get, I must remember to take breaks every once in a while, if only to catch a breath.

While we were out last night we spoke about the pace of time's passing, and the near ending of yet another year. Jennifer said something that caught my attention, "The days go so quickly, your semester will be over in less than a month. Can you imagine?"

Something about the way she said it nagged at me. It suddenly dawned on me that the students also frequently used the same expression. "Can you imagine?" An expression of disbelief roughly translating to "Isn't it amazing?" in my dialect.

But my usual question only seeks agreement. "Why yes, it is amazing." On the other hand, Jennifer's question pries open a can of possibilities. It presents itself as a challenge to comprehend something nearly unfathomable. But it also serves as an invitation to create a vision of some unlikely possibility. It's an excellent question to ask when pausing, and it's been on my mind all day.

I've been asking myself the question since I rolled out of bed this morning. Not only have I been in a perpetual state of amazement, but I've also been dwelling in ideals. The question has launched me deeper into a pursuit of ultimate fantasy, and I spent much of my day painting Utopian visions on the back of my eyelids. Students noticed my mental sojourn and started asking me why I ate my lunch with my eyes closed.

Yes, I can imagine. It's an incredibly powerful thing to be able to do. It's the reason we humans have overcome so many of our challenges. And knowing that we have this capacity fills me with great hope that we may continue to overcome barriers. To one day choose to live peacefully, respectfully, and willfully.

I used to think of imagination, and its cousins creativity and play, as perks of our existence. Now I recognize these mental capacities for their true utility to our continued future as a species. What if we treated imagination not as superfluous to our education, but central to it? What if we had as much of a responsibility to use our creative capacity as much as we're expected to be critical? What would the world look like?

Time is going by so fast. Can YOU imagine?

Thank you for reading.

Yours quixotically,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 46 - Negative Space

The world can feasibly be divided into two categories: that which I am, and that of which I am not. Me and Not Me. And I have a large say in where the border lies. And so do you. And everyone and everything else that is Not Me.

These two categories shape one another, constantly imposing and absorbing the others' spaces. Like the yin and yang. Or night and day. It's as a friend of mine recently said, "Freedom is only as far as the next human's nose."

We are interconnected, all of us. We interact with each other and impose ideas on one another. In a very real sense we share a space, and the borders between us are forever being negotiated.

This means that my choices affect all others, if only marginally. By extension, everyone's choices affect all others. This means we all have a responsibility to one another, if only marginally.

How marginal can responsibility really be?

We all have the capacity to create space for one another. To respect each other's struggles for survival, love, and purpose. We always have a choice to work with one another, minding each others' quests and ensuring each other's well-being. To teach about our worlds, but also to be students of others'. We can also choose to be forgiving of each others' impositions.

Easier said than done.

This morning our classes were filled with interruptions - other students walking in to exchange modems or computers, teachers coming to check out all of the costumes for pajama day, student conversations in class. I was having a difficult time following my personal f-word policy. I felt imposed upon, not being able to accomplish what I wanted. It put me in a sour mood.

It took me a while to realize just how sour I was being. It wasn't until Emily came to talk to me after lunch that I realized students had avoided me all morning. Completely isolating myself in my own victimhood.

She brought her laptop over. "Sir, you know that song you showed me in September? I saw it on an episode of Glee and thought you might like it."

I did like it. What a gift. It brightened my afternoon to realize that despite radiating negativity this student was still willing to be kind to me. I'm sure Emily has no idea the impact her sharing has had on me. It's easy to forget the impact we have on one another. That we make up one another's negative space with our choices.

I allowed myself to forgive the morning's disruptions, and I soon found that the students had forgiven my foul mood.

I chose to work with the students in the afternoon. And they responded by choosing to work with me. They wanted to go outside so we did. We studied under the mango tree in a circle of chairs. What a brilliant idea. Why I didn't do it sooner I'll never understand.

We create the spaces that make the world. To what goal can we work together?

Thank you for considering.

Respectfully,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 45 - Stuck

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were, 

but without it we go nowhere." - Carl Sagan

In my recently self-appointed capacity as the head of the Science department, I have taken to reading more of the science and technology sections of news websites, constantly on the prowl for curiosity triggers. Discussing current scientific discovery and debates with classes makes the stuff the curriculum tells us to learn   more relevant.

Today I found this article, which topically describes a carefully designed new material that bends light around objects. That's right folks, it seems possible that soon invisibility cloaks will be all the rage:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20265623

What's most fascinating to me, is that this sort of thing was almost certainly thought to be completely impossible when I was "growing up". The sort of fodder that was best left to children and their wild imaginations. Not the stuff of the regular, habitual, predictable world known to adults as "reality".

And yet, here we are, reading about technologies that are accomplishing, if only marginally for now, the very things that were once labelled impossible.

At least part of the reason we are afforded this amazement is because someone was curious enough to pursue that impish urging "what if" that so many of us were inadvertently (?) taught to ignore as immature.

I love to imagine what the world might look like if more and more people were willing to acknowledge the "sticky-ness" of their minds, and further willing to stretch their personal limits by considering "impossible" possibilities. What if more people recognized just how many limits are self-imposed, whether conscious or not?

As a demonstration, consider the technology discussed in the article. I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people who read the article, or hear about the technology think of the famous cloak in the Harry Potter series, and latch onto this single, though no less incredible, possibility. And here our minds try to settle again. With one new possibility.

But what other possible uses might there be for this technology? Even when we think we've stretched our limits, there are always more limits to stretch.

Today in class we played with possible applications of the technology. In addition to using it for espionage related activities, students came up with nearly 100 ideas for this sort of technology. Some of my favourites include protecting endangered species from predation/poaching, securing valuable possessions in invisible safes, and remaining cool on a hot day by shrouding one's naked self in the material (which may, in fact, be warmer than regular clothes).

Many of the ideas we have are silly, and unrealistic, and implausible. But unless we consider them, we will never find any possibilities worth pursuing. And we will remain in our stagnant, sticky-minded, limited ways.

There are solutions to our problems, and potentials to fulfill. What limits are you stuck within?

Thank you for reading.

Yours in play,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 44 - Azonto

"Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world." - Voltaire

Today's PW is less a reflection and more of a confession.

For the past couple of days I've been avoiding work, by doing work. I've been secretly sweating out Azonto in the privacy of my room.


Okay, so I'm nowhere near this guy. But the dance is pretty fly, no?

I was introduced to Azonto by our students of course. A few students blew my mind with a brief performance last week, and I'm afraid things are about to get ill. Because it's true my friends, I've come down with a bad case of Azonto.

Does dancing count as being productive?

Project Wonder - Day 43 - Remembering

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada.

I remember being confused by this day as a kid. I was always troubled with the task of remembering something I wasn't there to experience. I knew we were supposed to remember fallen soldiers, and the sacrifices made by previous generations, and the unimaginable suffering these people endured to secure the freedoms we've grown accustomed to having.

All of this sounded terribly important to my second grade self, so I tried really hard to remember this stuff. But I could never invent the scene I wasn't a part of, and so I pretended to remember for years. I wore the poppy without really knowing what stories it represented.

Of course, I didn't need to understand what I was meant to remember. What is critical is that I understood why I was meant to remember it. Many people died to make the world a better place. I knew that it was important to remember to be thankful to these distant strangers, and to be grateful for the life I am privileged to live.

The specifics of my made up memories are informed by history books, movies, and my imagination. But these don't really matter anyway, since I can never really imagine what life as a soldier in battle was like.

It's the "why" that's important. What do you choose to remember, and why have you made that choice? The reasons one remembers are revealing of one's character. Our reasons are the meaning, and form the basis of perception and decision-making.

In addition to your Remembrance Day whats, please consider making time to ask why. Thank you for reading.

Yours in re-imagining the past,

Brandon

P.S. The specifics of my Remembrance Day memorial were informed by these images of the past etched in the present.

Project Wonder - Day 42 - Bus thinking

My pal Jennifer and I took the bus to the market today, to pick up a few groceries. The actual term for the vehicle is "trotro", and it's the cheapest means of getting around next to walking. Trotros are vans that have been gutted and re-outfitted with almost 20 seats. It's something of a marvel to experience. I was in the second to last row when I took this picture this morning.

You'll notice the passengers gazing off into the distance, taking in the scenes while patiently waiting for their stop. A behaviour that's similar to many public transporters in Hamilton and Toronto. Passengers board with the occasional nod to a co-traveller, perhaps even a verbal greeting to the driver, then often reabsorb into the privacy of their minds and headphones. Many don't even acknowledge others with eye contact. I jumped through the door and looked only for my seat. I then directed my gaze out the window without so much as a smile to any of the passengers. In fact, the desire for privacy in public seems to be common to people in all of the places I've had the pleasure of seeing.

It seems odd to me that in all the spaces I share with others, much of the time I think only of minding my business. Given our incredible capacity for communication and connection with one another, often the best conversation I can think of has to do with the weather. Which worked well for me in Hamilton, where the meteorological spectrum was a little broader. Here in Accra there's not much to be said:

"It's hot today." I say, leaning toward the passenger on my left.

"Yea." she nods.

"Really hot." I add, for clarification.

"Oh... yea" she smiles and nods.

And that's all I've got. I'm unsure what else I might be able to talk about, that there's anything I could say that would be meaningful to my fellow voyager.

Don't we have more incredible things to chat about than the weather? What fears, or limitations prevent us from pursuing a connection with others in public? What might the world look like if public spaces, like city buses, were safe enough that interacting with others wasn't perceived as risky? How can public spaces influence and encourage meaningful interpersonal interaction? What role does art have? What value is gained from more social interaction?

Lots of questions, and even more possible responses. Our ancestors are all related, and yet somehow we prefer to keep our distances.

Thank you for reading.

Fellowly voyaging,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 41 - The F-Word

It seems the students I teach have finally caught on to the frequency with which I use the f-word. I must say it ten times in every class, and I have no qualms about saying it directly to students. In fact, I was even speaking with the principal this afternoon when I let it slip:

"Sometimes I find these students have this sense of entitlement, like they deserve superior grades without having to work for them. It's absolutely FASCINATING!"

That's right. The "f-word" is fascinating, literally And like most of the words we use, its power is masked by the veil of habit. 

Today we were discussing something concerning evolution in biology. Sylvia, not usually one to defect from the topic, had been watching me with a curious expression. Finally she spoke:

"Sir, you find a lot of things fascinating."

I suppose I had grown unaware of how much I use the term, because I've been noticing myself all day. It started out as being an intentional choice of words, but I suppose it's become so regularly that I barely pay any attention to the level of fascination I experience on a daily basis. 

A number of years ago I was riding the GO train from Hamilton to Toronto with a mentor of mine, on our way to work. I stared out the window as we whipped by crammed lanes of nearly parked cars. For whatever reason I was already irritable that morning and I became angry at the sight of this waste. 

"Look at all those cars, most of them with a single passenger. It's ridiculous! And incredibly frustrating!"

My mentor intervened with insight, as all good mentors should. "You might consider changing your f-word." I must have cocked my head in confusion because he elaborated. "When you're frustrated you will spend your time dwelling on problems. And there are so many problems to be frustrated about. Try using the word 'fascinating' instead. Be amazed by the problems, so that you are willing to ask how these problems came to be in the first place."

I was deeply impressed by this idea, and put it into practice right away. And it's become fuel for curiosity, a catalyst for gratitude, and it makes fears irrelevant. The more I describe the world as fascinating, the more fascinating it becomes. 

I shared these ideas with the students, to which many responded by saying "hmm". Just as I did ten years ago. Here's hoping that fascination is paying its way forward. Thank you for reading.

Yours in self-fulfilling prophecy,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 40 - Futures

Through my fascination with the pursuit of possibilities and the challenging of limits I stumbled across the work of Jason Silva a little while ago.

If you haven't heard of him, Jason is a film maker, a futurist, and a self-described "epiphany addict". He has some big ideas about the limitless possibilities in our near future.

The rate at which we develop new technologies is increasing exponentially. Where will this curve of innovation take us? According to Silva, we are on the precipice of transcending any and all conceivable limitations.



Some of this thinking may seem unrealistic, or even frightening to think about, at first. What's most terrifying to me is the track record of human beings manipulation of technological advances through history for the sake of personal gain, and apparent disregard of the impact of personal choice on the collective. Do human beings possess the moral capacity to effectively use our technology to solve global scale problems? Or are our egos too resistant to compromise?

Then again, Jason describes a future where our limits, all of them, are surmountable. If our egos limit us from achieving some greater potential, what does a "limit-free" consciousness look like in the future?

I guess that's part of the incomprehensibility of it all. That IS the singularity. Another of my favourite thinkers, Terence McKenna, has suggested that we are on the cusp of a huge evolutionary leap, transcending our current existence into something completely unimaginable, and by definition, beyond the understanding of our current human minds.

Heavy stuff. But exciting to let the imagination run, no?

Thank you for reading.

Yours in anticipation,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 39 - Fortune

I'm officially out of the hospital, and getting down to catching up on all the work and time I missed with the students during my FIVE DAY (!!) absence.

I caught myself getting pretty frustrated in the final hours of my stay. I just wanted to get out of that place and get back to non-patient living. This is probably too much information for the public, but I hadn't properly bathed since being admitted to the hospital last Saturday and my odor was vile. I literally covered myself in a blanket from neck to toe to mask my own repulsive stench. My poor roommates and nursing team were almost as happy to watch me pack my bags as I was. Now that I think about it, a few of them seemed happier than I. 

All jokes and frustration aside, my hospital experience was rich indeed. I shared in political dialogue while watching the US election coverage on CNN, I learned more about the colonization of Africa from the "felt" perspective of my roommates, some of whom were scholars, some of whom were business owners. It was a great laugh when the gentleman beside me quipped (in broken English), "It's very nice feeling to see Obama black man rule the white for once." It certainly made me think about the incredible divide in power and wealth between our richest rich and our poorest poor. Such an incomprehensible difference, even with numbers and statistics and infographics (check out this site) the best I could do was pretend to understand. 

I gained a little perspective on this during my in-patient experience. It was rich in other ways as well. 

I stayed at the clinic from Saturday morning until Wednesday morning, a total of four nights, and twelve meals. I'm not sure exactly what the cost of business was, because my medical insurance covered it. 

I was on a very strong antibiotic, taking three doses daily via IV. According to the University of Pennsylvania,  each of those doses was worth about $30.00 (US). I received a total of twelve doses, bringing the grand total to about $360.00. Of course I don't know the actual cost, because my medical insurance covered it. 

This puts my visit and treatment somewhere around the $450.00 mark (a conservative estimate). Even without medical insurance I could probably find a way to pay for this treatment. I would probably be enraged that treating some silly little bacterial infection could cost so much, but I would cough up the dough. 

The average Ghanaian doesn't have health insurance. In fact, according to this 2008 statistical report, only 2.4% of Ghanaians have health insurance to cover medical expenses. Those who did not, would have to pay the cash fee. On the average Ghanaian teachers' salary, this could be paid for after THREE MONTHS of work. Assuming no other monthly expenses, that is. 

How is it that things are this way? I don't bat an eye at the thought of an ear infection, and my biggest worry is that I can't get back to my "regular life". In fact, I don't think I've ever had to worry about not being able to receive medical treatment in my life. Yet for most of the people in this country, an infection such as mine might have resulted in a brain infection, and possibly death. 

Thanks Scotiabank, I really am richer than I think. To what do I owe my good fortune?

The best answer I've come up with, is that I was born in Canada, with white skin and Y chromosome. It seems more than a bit silly, and phenomenally complex. I'm helplessly privileged, and I damn well better be grateful for my chances. 

Thank you for reading. 

Yours befuddled by unequal birthright(s), 

Brandon

P.S. Although Ghana begin oil production off its shores in 2010, it seems not much has yet changed for its citizens: http://www.voanews.com/content/ghana-oil-wealth-not-reaching-poor/1510789.html

P.P.S. Today's PW is inflamed by the report that this year's US presidential election incurred costs greater than $6 billion (!!!)

Project Wonder - Day 38 - Strangers

Part of the reason I love to travel so much is that it affords me the opportunity to meet new people. Not that the people currently in my life are "old", nor that I'm tired of those that I know. Through meeting new people I come to understand a little more about the ways We make sense of the world, and in doing so learn more about my own interpretations of stuff.

I have met some of my best friends in the most coincidental of circumstances, whether on a shared flight to Florida, or through a chance encounter during a university lecture. I have always loved the expression "a stranger is a friend yet unmet," once you shake off the dust of habit that cliches are prone to collecting.

The expectations we have of others invariably affect the way we treat them, and consequently the way they treat us. If we welcome the presence of others warmly and willingly, there's no telling the things we might learn. After all, every one has a truly unique story to share which we will never hear and learn from without lending our ears to the cause.

I read the following story a few months ago and it reminded me of the potential for conversation once we stop projecting a mask of anonymity onto others.

http://www.fullmoon.nu/articles/art.php?id=tal

I've met some pretty incredible people in my travels, and more recently here at the hospital. I had a conversation with a nurse today about feminism and environmentalism in an Africa with more pressing priorities. Last night I stayed up late practicing broken French with a man in the bed across the room, taking turns asking questions about each others families and upbringing. Who knows who I'll get to meet tomorrow?

Thank you for reading.

Yours in amiability,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 37 - Names

This morning I was woken by the day nurse:

"Hello James, time to wake up."

She was so bright and cheery, that I decided not to correct her. I didn't want to interrupt her flow of good energy. So I allowed myself to be James. Later on I made a note to avoid making decisions in the early morning fog of my waking self.

Of course, the appellation isn't entirely wrong. James IS my middle name, and is on my medical folder. But it just doesn't feel right. Nonetheless, my window of correcting her closed rapidly, and now I must wear my second name more publicly, at least until I'm out of here.

Although it doesn't quite feel right, it really doesn't matter to me. I mean, I still feel like me, whether you call me James, Brandon, or some other spontaneous label. It's all the same from my end. But perhaps to the nurse it's completely different.

After all, she doesn't know me like I do. And so as she learns about me she's probably making associations in her mind with people who have behaved, looked or spoke similarly to me. And if she knows a James she's almost certainly comparing me to him, whether she realizes it or not.

So many of us can relate to that unconscious associative name game. I can't count the number of conversations I've had with people about names that have been "ruined" for people:

"I used to love the name Amanda, until I got to the tenth grade and met Amanda Hugandkiss. She's so opinionated and bossy."
**If your name is Amanda, or your last name is Hugandkiss, or your full name is Amanda Hugandkiss, I apologize for making an example of you. Any likeness is  completely unintentional

What is in a name? It's a thought well worth thinking. It leads one to question the labels we give not only people, but other things, places, actions and ideas. What associations are tied up in the language we use, and  how would things be different if our labels were otherwise? Would a rose, by any other name, really smell as sweet?

While I'm now known to some members of the nursing staff as James, today I also bid goodbye to two kind, friendly gentlemen who were my cellmates here at the hospital. I'll call them "Bill" and "Ted" because somewhere in the cracks between the time we shared space and laughter I forgot to introduce myself, and learn THEIR names. Which makes me wonder how different, if only subtly, my experience with these gentlemen would've been if names had been exchanged? I expect our relationship would have been more significant. If not in the present, then almost certainly in the future when I recall memories from my time here. Will I remember "Bill" and "Ted" next week? In a month from now? In ten years? If so, will my memories of them now be tied up with notions of "surfer dude" speak and bogus journeys?

Our names, labels, and categories are the ways we keep attempt to keep our world consistent. They are the way we make meaning of the world. But we often get so used to using them that the meaning gets lost.  I found this lovely idea from Salman Rushdie in The Satanic Verses which is currently bouncing around my cortex:

"Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit." 

As a magician, the spectator's name is the most powerful magic word I know. As a teacher, remembering and using students' names is the foundation for trust and accountability. As a learner, names are a great source of philosophizing. That Wittgenstein know a thing or two about a thing or two. 

Thank you for reading.

Yours connotatively,

James

P.S. This clip from one of my favourite films "Waking Life" may add some insight to your thinking about language.

Project Wonder - Day 36 - Insignificance

Earlier in the day I was particularly mopey about not being able to get any work done, about missing so many classes and leaving the students "hanging out to dry". I've been frustrated and lonely and had nothing to do but read from my Kobo (thanks Mom and Dad).

I decided to re-read a few chapters from Carl Sagan's Cosmos, and I was rewarded with the beautiful reminder that all of my problems are really just a blip on the space-time map. Rather than try to explain, I'll let Carl speak:




It is refreshing to feel insignificant every once in a while. There's a lot less pressure when things don't seem to matter as much.

Yours humbly,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 35 - Persistence

I'm writing this on limited Internet connectivity and low laptop battery life from a hospital bed in West Africa. Isn't that amazing?

I am writing with two purposes.

Firstly, to reassure a few readers that I'm in excellent hands here. I've been reading books all afternoon and taking strolls on the hospital grounds, basically doing anything to distract myself from the faucet that's been taped into my hand for the medication (every 8 hours).

Secondly, I made a commitment to write every day. And after a visit from my principal today, I'm especially committed to upholding that commitment.

When I arrived at the CIC in September, I had an expectation on the type of work a principal does. I completely underestimated just how much is involved. The principal at our school is also a teacher of three courses, while also the lead recruiter and in charge of all the money. Needless to say, "Mrs. A" is a woman with an unending to-do list. She didn't even take a summer holiday, instead opting to help establish the primary school in its new location.

I am writing about Mrs. A, because, in fact, she was my first visitor to me in the hospital. Coming to visit after spending her Saturday at the school. It occurred to me today that my expected absences are yet another thing for her to think about this coming week. Just another thing on the list. And I considered how daunted I feel at times, and can only imagine that she must have pangs of being completely overwhelmed. And yet she persists.

She never allows herself to be the victim, at least, I never see it. She persists, I can only imagine, because she knows her work is worth it, however she measures worth to be.

And since I know writing to be the best form of my own healing, I must not use this hospital visit as an excuse, but must press on with Project Wonder. It's true that the greatest hurdles to our accomplishments exist in our own minds. I aspire to have the strength of mind to keep working, just as Mrs. A.

Thank you for reading.

Yours enduring,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 34 - Laughter

Well, I've been battling an ear infection for about a week now. The doctors had prescribed me some antibiotics, but after getting some test results back today, I've learned that the oral antibiotics aren't strong enough for this particular infection.

And so, for the next five days, I will be staying at the Nyaho Medical Centre, completing a course of intravenous antibiotics.

When the doctor told me I was going to have to be admitted, I actually laughed out loud. Although I've been feeling unpleasant lately, there is a certain humour about the idea that I'm about to spend five days in a hospital bed, here in Accra.

My burst of laughter crept into a potentially serious situation last weekend as well, while being thrown around with the other passengers on the bus, as the driver tried to navigate the crests and valleys of washed out roads. At one point I imagined the bus toppling over to the ground, and I couldn't help but laugh.

I suppose it's the absurdity of the situation that gets me. The sense of surreal that overtakes me. This out of body experience where I laugh at the complete improbability of the somewhat more frightening inner-body experience.

Or perhaps its exhilarating. Like riding a roller coaster where you know that there's really nothing to fear, and so the emotion escapes as giggles.

Either way, I'm collecting a bunch of phenomenal stories for the grandkids. Even if a few of them come at the expense of a compromised immune system for a few days.

There's value in all of these things that happen to us. Sometimes we have to dig a little deeper to find them.

Thanks for reading,

Yours on the mend,

Brandon

Project Wonder - Day 33 - Questions

Yesterday I mentioned that asking a lot of questions leads to a greater awareness of possibilities. Questioning things helps us understand how to make better choices for ourselves and others.

I have long asked the question of the purpose of school. I reflect on it privately, and I frequently pose the question to other students and teachers. Recently I asked students to write about what they thought the purpose of school to be.

Somewhat ironically, I received an onslaught of "academic" responses: formal, rigid writing saying that school should be as it already is. Despite the fact that students obviously care little about the curriculum at times, they echoed the popular discourse that school is about getting a good job in the end.

The students' writing seemed inauthentic. After all, it was just a task I wanted them to do, and jumping through hoops is so often the name of the game. Combine their lack of inherent interest in the question, with the dogma that there is ONE right answer to every question, and you get a bunch of "answers" which are similar, describing what students believe I want to hear. Some of the responses are very nearly identical to each other, suggesting that one student has copied another's.

I wanted to engage in a real discussion, and what I received was disinterested hurdle-jumping in the name of obedience.

There are many questions to be asked. My good friend recently shared this TEDxYouth talk by Seth Godin, who does a great job asking.



Why do we have the institutions we have? Why do we do the things we do? And how can (what I believe to be) educational ideals like curiosity, perspective-taking, creativity and resourcefulness be seen as valuable in our current capitalist, every-man-for-himself paradigm?

Thanks for asking the questions you ask.

Yours inquisitively,

Brandon